i quit.

My mom makes the most amazing homemade split pea soup. Naturally I should have known mine would turn out nothing like hers.

How did my husband put it? "Looks like baby crap in a really bad diaper blow out," which was accompanied by retching sounds and a finger down his throat. Rude, right? So I punched him in the face. Ok, I'm kidding...I don't condone spousal abuse...usually. At least when I actually agree with him:

Shut it peanut gallery. My cooking confidence is far too fragile.

new england clam chowder.

The Constituents:

• 2 (6 ounce) can minced clams
• 4 slices bacon, cut into small pieces
• 4 potatoes, peeled and cubed
• 1 cup chopped onion
• 1 carrot, grated
• 2 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of mushroom soup
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 2 (12 fluid ounce) cans evaporated milk

Directions:

1. In a small bowl, drain the clams and reserve the juice. Add water to the juice as needed to total 1 3/4 cups liquid. Cover the clams and put in refrigerator for later.
2. In a slow cooker combine the bacon, potatoes, onion, carrot, soup, ground black pepper, evaporated milk and reserved clam juice with water. Cover and cook on low setting for 9 to 11 hours OR on high setting for 4 to 5 hours. Add the clams and cook on high setting for another hour.

Verdict:
I was a little skeptical using clams from a can (how raunchy does that sound?), but it turned out absolutely fabulous...we're talking some serious competition for Legal Sea Foods. When cooking (especially on high), make sure you stir it once awhile to avoid burning.

i confess.

Lame...has it really been a month since I posted? My sincere apology, reader. This time I'm not crying wolf. I will continue my quest to become a domestic goddess. In fact, I've got quite a repertoire of recipes to try out this week:

• Clam Chowder
• Chili
• Taco Chicken
• Chicken Tortilla Soup

Stay tuned!